Maresco

sleep is not an option tonight…. so over school

__EDIT__
We had a guest speaker and watched a testimony so my presentation was pushed until next week WOOOOOOOOOOO! Thanks to those who sent me positive encouragements via tumblr/ichat/text =]

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Tonight I have to talk in front of my class about a court case I’m not 100% about, it’s an auditorium sized class room.  I can already feel the butterflies in my tummy.  I thought about skipping class, but I really would like this extra credit opportunity and also if I don’t go he may mark me as absent.  At least with dance I talk with my body, that’s why I can do it.  When it comes to verbal speech…. I FAIL… I get nervous, I jumble up my words, or sometimes I don’t finish my thought.  I hope I can do this.

Change is inevitable my friends.  Change isn’t always bad, sometimes we need to change in order to grow.  Sometimes we tend to grow apart from each other, in cases such as these it doesn’t mean a bad situation occurred, sometimes it just happens.  We have to accept and understand this, but there are cases where the person you knew has become someone else.. someone, or a few people, who already exists.

Stay true to yourself.  Don’t be someone else.  Grow as a person, not as another person you know.

You are the perfect example of who I do NOT want to be.

Thanks.

compressed, trapped, caged, controlled. 

can’t wait to breathe freedom again.

Not sure how to explain it, but I’m beginning to get lost in the music

Know your worth, that is all.

Sometimes the heart feels what it feels.  Scared… yes.. absolutely.

For once I would love to go somewhere where we are allowed to practice, somewhere we wouldn’t have to worry about getting in trouble for being at.  We just want to dance, we aren’t doing anything wrong. 

Even though this really discouraged me, us not having a spot, I realized if you want to do something then you will find a way to do it.

I don’t want to be one of the illest bgirls… I want to be one of the illest period.

Surprise visit from one of my crew members, Toxsick, which lifted my spirits since they all live two hours away.  We practiced from 9 pm to 230 a.m. then we waited for our pizza then went to sleep at 449ish am. I had to wake up for work at 635 a.m…. it was worth it

I don’t regret it.

Fear has held me back for too long, it’s time to be fearless.  If you fail… fail hard.  Sounds crazy I know but the meaning behind that is that is if you fail hard that means you tried hard, you put everything you had towards it.  It’s scary but if you want something sometimes you just.. have to go for it..

Listening to different music, besides break beats when I practice, helps me create.  Different music gives you a different feeling, listen carefully.

Frustrated with all the things that are going on, eff it …If I can’t go to practice, I’ll bring practice to me.

Breathe in… Breathe out… Don’t give up.

Sometimes I try to control everything, that’s when I step back and have to say if it’s out of my hands to just let it be.  We can’t control every situation but we can control how we react.

School, Work, Dance, Sleep, School, Work, Dance, Sleep.

I’m getting so overwhelmed right now.  I really hate this feeling.  Today I’m working from 5:30 pm to 2:00 a.m. then I have to wake up at 8 a.m. to register my schedule, finish filming clips for my viral video I’m making for class, edit it and post, and then go to class at night…. Mondays mean no practice time for me seeing as my class is from 7-940 at night.  The end of the semester is nearing which means TESTS, and FINAL PROJECTS are due…. greeeeaaaaat….. also OUTBREAK is coming up in DEC and I need to continue training for it.  Work… work is just a damper in my plans, don’t get me wrong my job is cool but during the time I’m at work I could be doing my projects that way I’d be able to practice more often.  Oh well I just need to suck it up till the end of the semester. I’m going M.I.A. again sadly… bleeeeh I just started going out too =/

p.s. Dear sleep… I miss you… hopefully I will see more of you again.

We tend to make excuses for not doing what we love, I’m definitely guilty of that at times.